# Day 24: We Have That Dungeon Game At Home - Vlrrrt, Illithid Psionicist Thief tags: #articles/CharacterCreationChallenge/2026 #game/rpg/we-have-that-dungeon-game-at-home > [!quote] [[Character Creation Challenge 2026]] > > ![[Character Creation Challenge Image.png]] ## Game of Choice You might have picked up that I am an aficionado of lightweight systems. Frankly, I find that too many mechanics get in the way of actually playing the game. If I want a whole lot of buttons and levers and dials to turn, I have video games for that, which do it a lot more effectively and provide a lot more gratifying results. Yes, I think games like *[DCS](https://www.digitalcombatsimulator.com/en/downloads/world/stable/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=%7Bcampaignname%7D&utm_content=757907129901&utm_term=dcs&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22673606524&gbraid=0AAAAACakpD8ChS53JN5_YsK2G5X3aLZ-J&gclid=CjwKCAiAssfLBhBDEiwAcLpwfoRh3KW0_EVJDutlax6Nrwm5qhaydR0yIlJ_CPVkDroXqYOrGLE2FRoCj5sQAvD_BwE)*, *[Rogue System](https://imagespaceinc.com/rogsys/)*, *[Alliance Space Guard](https://alliancespaceguard.com)*, and [any factory game you can name](https://www.paradoxinteractive.com/games/foundry/about) are wonderful for the lever-pulling, button-pushing experience. Far better than anything you can have on the tabletop. So, when I bring you this game, it's not going to catch you by surprise. What might catch you by surprise is how directly satirical it is. ![[We Have That Dungeon Game At Home (cover).jpg|400]] *[[We Have That Dungeon Game At Home!]]* is so satirical, it doesn't even have a cover and it's laid out in monotype. I would say that it is traditionally deep old school, except it's absolutely not. In fact, it's surprisingly playable. > YOU ARE OUTLANDERS AND RAIDERS WHO RIDE INTO THE RUINS OF A DYING EMPIRE to seize its wealth and secrets. Ancient sites of occult power, once warded and guarded, now lay open for adventurers to plunder – and for horrors to escape from. Now is a time when anyone with courage and wit may carve a fortunes or a dynasty from the corpse of the world that once was. That's it. That's your entire setting setup. That's all that's really devoted to it. The rest is mechanics, but they are flavorful mechanics which convey more about the world as you go.[^2] You might think this game is not particularly serious, and you would be absolutely correct. Yet, you could run it completely po-faced. You could go in dead seriously, but you don't have to. Let's get stuck in. ## Acts of Creation This is going to go fast, though it does have a little bit of curious insanity, just the way character generation should be. ### Species, Class, and Name Right off the hop, we get to do the classic tinkering, which is to figure out our species, class, and name. But here's the thing, none of those bits have any sort of predefined structure. You can have whatever species and class you want. Just write it down. Now, I am not going to do what you think here. We are not going to design another Necromancer, as tempting as it might be. No, they've given me the opportunity, and I'm going to take it. - **Species:** Illithid - **Class:** Psionicist - **Name:** Vlrrrt[^1] the Mind-Sifter Have I mentioned that [[i-fucking-love-illithid|I Fucking Love Illithid]]? ### Inheritance Points We have four points which we can spend on ancestral abilities, spells, or gear. Just four points. There are no particular costs for anything. It's one to one, so we get four things. Fast and easy. - **Mindgazer:** Within 24 hours of a person’s death, you may eat their brain to learn their memories and thoughts. It takes a Focus roll to find memories over a week old. - **The Sword of Evil Destiny:** It’s the same as the Sword of Destiny but it also gives a +10 to Intimidate and it tells you to do evil things instead. It also really wants you to find and fight the wielder of the Sword of Destiny. - **Eldritch Blast:** Demons whisper this spell in nightmares to those they hope have been made cruel by want and weakness. It fires a bolt of deadly injury as far as any mortal arrow. It can be used as a weapon in Battle. The caster rolls Occult Magic instead of Ranged Combat. - **Mage’s Hand:** This spell is found hidden in code within seemingly mundane texts, as if planted by a secret society. A simple task of the caster’s choosing is completed, as if some occult hand had done so. It requires an Occult Magic roll to do any task of difficulty or danger, with appropriate modifiers. See, I controlled myself. I did not take *Create Undead* or *Raise Dead*, even though it was right there waiting for me to happen. Instead, I decided to take an evil talking sword, which encourages us to do evil things, an *Eldritch Blast* to handle our psionic attacks, and *Mage Hand* in order to cover telekinesis. The number of spells is surprisingly small, but there is definitely enough guidance given to create your own, and you probably should. It's that kind of game. ### Pick Skills Okay, I'll admit, here is where things always go sideways for me, but that's the way it is. There is a skill list, and technically we start with every skill on the skill list at 10%. We can add as many skills to the skill list as we want, as long as they represent either a trade or a faith. But here's the pain in the ass. To start, we choose two skills to start at 60%, three skills to start at 50%, four skills to start at 40%, three skills to start at 30%, and two skills to start at 20%. However, looking at the very next paragraph after the skill list, we see that it's suggested that you can remove as many as you feel like, or just go grab the skills from [*Warrior, Rogue, and Mage* by Michael Wolf](https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/170822/warrior-rogue-mage-bundle-bundle), which you can have for free. Or, and this is the one we're actually going to do, you can replace the entire skill list with three skills: warrior, rogue, and mage. You get one at 20%, one at 40%, and one at 60%. I like this a lot better. - **Skills:** - **Warrior:** 20% - **Rogue:** 40% - **Mage:** 60% Vlrrrt is a sneaky bastard, with a focus in psionic/magical shenanigans. Frankly, do you need more than that in order to categorize your abilities? Probably not much more. Could I put together a broader skill list which adds a little more nuance? Sure. But I could also completely replace the skill system with something that's not percentile, because as the text says, **"*We Have That Dungeon Game at Home* is the best RPG because you can change anything you want!"** ### Level and Loot Now we have to ask the Dungeon Dreamer what level we start at, and if we start with loot. We're going to be very traditional here and start at level one and one loot. You've just got to kick it off. - **Level:** 1 - **Loot:** 1 ### Spend Starting Loot You didn't think there was going to be a dungeon game without time spent in the shop, did you? Of course there is. We need to spend our starting loot on common items if we want, and I definitely want to. Let's go see what we can get for one loot. - **Loot:** 0 - **Suspicious Duffel Bag:** Includes lockpicks, a crowbar, a grappling hook, candles, and a long black cloak with a hood I'm particularly amused and pleased that the quantum of loot is the handful. That is, you get handfuls of loot and trade them for stuff. On the surface, it seems completely ludicrous, but when you think about it, it's a perfectly reasonable measure. You know what three handfuls of loot looks like. You know what ten handfuls of loot looks like. It's very easy to imagine what it's all about. In this case, we just trade our one handful of loot for a suspicious duffel bag full of thief equipment. Why is an illithid going out and doing second-story jobs? Squidhead's gotta eat, right? You can't start building up that vast empire of slaves with a building full of slaves. You've got to work up to it. I think the plan might be to establish a criminal empire and work outwards. ## Exunt That's it. We're done. Does this game have a character sheet? Oh God, no. I think that would actually fly in the face of the aesthetic. Your character should probably just be notes scribbled down on a sheet of paper, and maybe a really bad hand-drawn image. --- - **Species:** Illithid - **Class:** Psionicist - **Name:** Vlrrrt[^1] the Mind-Sifter - **Inheritances** - **Mindgazer:** Within 24 hours of a person’s death, you may eat their brain to learn their memories and thoughts. It takes a Focus roll to find memories over a week old. - **The Sword of Evil Destiny:** It’s the same as the Sword of Destiny but it also gives a +10 to Intimidate and it tells you to do evil things instead. It also really wants you to find and fight the wielder of the Sword of Destiny. - **Eldritch Blast:** Demons whisper this spell in nightmares to those they hope have been made cruel by want and weakness. It fires a bolt of deadly injury as far as any mortal arrow. It can be used as a weapon in Battle. The caster rolls Occult Magic instead of Ranged Combat. - **Mage’s Hand:** This spell is found hidden in code within seemingly mundane texts, as if planted by a secret society. A simple task of the caster’s choosing is completed, as if some occult hand had done so. It requires an Occult Magic roll to do any task of difficulty or danger, with appropriate modifiers. - **Skills:** - **Warrior:** 20% - **Rogue:** 40% - **Mage:** 60% - **Level:** 1 - **Loot:** 0 - **Suspicious Duffel Bag:** Includes lockpicks, a crowbar, a grappling hook, candles, and a long black cloak with a hood ![[24 - We Have That Dungeon Game At Home - Vlrrrt, Illithid Psionicist Thief.webp]] --- Incidentally, that may be my favorite piece of RPG-related art I've ever seen. It's amazing in every single way, and I love it. Tomorrow, we head off to something a long way from the dungeon, or at least a long way from anything you might recognize as a dungeon. We're off to the future, the glorious, beautiful future, where only good things happen, I'm sure. Tune in then for the next stage of human evolution. [^1]: Roll the 'r.' It's important. [^2]: In a strange way, this game reminds me of *[[On Mighty Thews]]*, which is one of my favorite sword and sandals fantasy RPGs. Mechanically, they aren't similar, but spiritually, there's an odd kinship. Except that this one definitely doesn't take itself seriously, and *On Mighty Thews* definitely does.