# Character Creation Challenge 2025: Day 29 - Dinosaur Erotica: Gerald, Plane-Loving Accountant tags: #articles/CharacterCreationChallenge/2025 #game/rpg/dinosaur-erotica > [!quote] [[Character Creation Challenge 2025]] > > ![[Character Creation Challenge Image.png]] ## Game of Choice First, a brief discussion of what *"appropriate place and time"* means. It means that you bring up a topic, a subject, or a theme in the context which is appropriate for that theme or that political idea. I'm not one of those crazy people who says that everything is political inherently, but if you're talking about the actions of human beings who are taking into account the reactions of other human beings, at some level you're discussing something inherently political. This is not an invitation to drag your *"current day"* politics out of the closet and throw them on the floor between us and then make me stare at it. There's a reason that we quietly agreed to keep it in the closet where it's not the most important thing I have to judge you by, nor is it the most important thing that you have to offer to any interactive relationship with other human beings. No, this is an acknowledgment that politics is war by other means, and vice versa. And perhaps you shouldn't be so eager to engage in warfare with the assumption I'm going to be your ally. That out of the way, let's just say I wouldn't want anybody to think I'm a *prude*. We all know that can't be the case because I am a tremendous pervert, a sicko of enormous proportions. I have to bring that out and have a little chat with you about it because today's game is going to give it all away, a fact which does not bother *me* in the slightest. I have nothing to hide. There's at least 30 years of digital footprint behind me, pointing in the direction I've gone. The direction I've gone is being one of the backers of today's game without shame, hesitation, or anything other than vast and deep amusement and pleasure. So without more ado… ![[Dinosaur Erotica (cover).jpg|400]] Oh yeah, it's **[[Dinosaur Erotica|Dinosaur Erotica: The Role-Playing Game]]**! Oh, you're not familiar with the field of *dinosaur erotica*? All right, I see that we are going to have to take a quick detour and talk about [Chuck Tingle](https://www.chucktingle.com). Who's that, you might ask? Well, Chuck Tingle is perhaps a character, perhaps a real guy, perhaps something in between. A creator of stories of erotic content, with "erotic" being fairly open as to its interpretation. If you've ever seen a title on Amazon in the format of *"Pounded in the Butt by BLANK,"* then it was probably a Chuck Tingle book. He has branched out fairly broadly since then, but you generally get the idea here that *"blank"* could be filled with almost anything from an undead fireman to a congressional lectern, plus far more disturbing or insane things that I haven't even touched on here.[^1] Seriously, it's an entire genre and this man has almost single-handedly responsible for it coming into being. Which brings us to *dinosaur erotica* in specific which is a very particular subgenre which involves exactly what you see on the tin. If you'd like a little more information about that - including an interview with one of the prominent authors of the field - I have an article for you: - [**What is dinosaur erotica and why are some people into it? An erotic fantasy author explains**](https://screenshot-media.com/the-future/trends/dinosaur-erotica/) No, we all take this stuff very seriously, incredibly seriously, dead seriously. Look at that cover, see how serious it is! I suppose that I really ought to talk about *the game*, shouldn't I? It seems like the right thing to do. The game itself is really intended for one GM and one player. Oddly enough, not a solo setup, though there are some minimal rules for playing solo. If you're one of the people into this genre, you're probably used to playing solo a lot. I know I am. But there are also rules for playing with three or more people. Weirdly enough, the sort of bizarre narrative and social complications that can come up from doing so make it a really good choice if you have the right group of friends who are willing to lean into the ridiculousness of the eroticism and just go with it. Odds are good that your group of friends are not those guys. But… if they *are* those buckaroos, you could be in for a very good time. By default, the GM plays the main character's love interest, whoever or whatever it happens to be. I appreciate that on page three, the text is very clear that the Narrative is very much a real thing which has a manifest existence in the context of the game. The Narrative is why the main character doesn't just avoid the love interest when the initial setup is that they are personal enemies. The Narrative is why, if they tried to do that, it would just fail outright. But it is *also* why they *will* fail outright if they just try to sit down and talk out their issues like rational adults. The Narrative in specific has particular goals, one of which is to get the characters into a position where they will *"smoosh their bits together."*^[I quote directly from the text.] Ironically enough, for all that I really despise the injection of *"safety tools"* into the text of what feels like every RPG that sees daylight in a way that treats its players as if they haven't even managed to work their way through the social nuances of kindergarten, this for all of its silliness is a game where I'm okay with the safety rules being clear and present. Also ironic is that since the rest of the game doesn't take itself entirely seriously, the safety rules aren't presented in a way that takes themselves entirely seriously, which makes them far more palatable. In a very weird way, this is a sideways inheritor of a lot of the other games that I like to talk about, in that it uses a nice dice pool system where you get a number of d10s equal to the stat which controls the thing that you're trying to accomplish and you're rolling versus a target difficulty. If all the dice come up lower than that target difficulty, it's a failure. If no dice exceed the difficulty but at least one equals it, then it's a partial success, but has a very limited impact. If at least one die comes up greater than the difficulty, things worked out more or less how you hoped. And if you get at least one 6 and one 9 on any two dice, you have succeeded in the sexiest way possible. If you're trying to get someone to have sex with you, there's a pretty good chance they will. ## Acts of Creation You've heard enough about the mechanics. Let's just get into this thing, let's go deep, let's pound it out. We're going to start at the very tip and work our way right up to the juicy bits. Things will go pretty fast, so I don't see any reason that we should worry overmuch about the foreplay. ### Pitcher and Catcher We might as well go ahead and figure out what the scenario and the premise is because we have tables for that if we're not feeling particularly inspired. I'm curious what RNGesus wants to see on the table today. For that, we go down to the appropriate section of the book. This is a perfect opportunity to quote directly from the text as regards the love interest type being, shall we say, of an awkward size or shape: > Let’s be honest, there’s a reason size kink is a thing. Exploring the nuances of romancing a significantly larger or smaller partner can be an interesting change from the norm. Especially when it comes to sentient vehicles and buildings who can serve a dual function in the story as character and setting — talk about wanting your lover inside you. I mean, how often do you have a chance to get into a workplace romance with your workplace? You get the idea. That's just one option of how to deal with it, along with changing their size, or not drawing attention to it. But, as the text suggests, where's the fun in that? So let's figure out what kind of romantic interest we're talking about here. Shockingly, there is no table for deciding between "dinosaurs," sentient objects, and monsters. "Dinosaurs" has scare quotes because the table also includes entries for prehistoric mammals and "boneless friends." It's here I make my one and only appearance in this book, as there's an entry for *Tusoteuthis*. You know you're about to make an appearance when you see giant squid on the list. You know, I just realized after having this book for months that the top columns are numbered, so you literally can roll on all four tables at once. It is simply one particularly wide table broken up into multiple sections. I could have gone without actually telling you that, but it's too funny not to mention. We'll roll two d10 and see where we fall out > [8, 3] *Large Objects. Airplane (Jet or Propeller).* Wait, I've seen this one! - **[German Woman Ends 10-Year Relationship with Airplane](https://www.dagens.com/world/german-woman-ends-10-year-relationship-with-airplane)** Fine we can work with this. The main character is looking at a relationship with an aeroplane. I'm going to make a command decision and say that it's a turboprop, because I've been on one of those and the vibration should do wonders. Now we need a good bit of optional flavour rolling on the trait table. > [1, 6] *Has a secret (roll on the secrets table).* Uh-oh. > [9, 3] *Is from the distant past.* Well that's certainly unexpected and going to be a challenge to integrate unless it's not a turboprop at all but a DC-8! One of the ancient DC-8s that was used to deposit thetans in volcanoes all around the world! Holy crap!  This is all too ridiculous to believe thus it must be true! Well, what does an ancient alien DC-8 do in the modern world? What is his profession? > [10, 4] *Kung-Fu Master.* You know what? This tracks. The Ancient Alien DC-8 is a kung fu master. Why not? His name is Deke, by the way. Now we need to figure out the hook, the thing that gets the player into the story, the thick meat, if you will. > [2] > [8, 9] *Starting a New Job. Tropical Resort.* Goodness, starting a new job at a tropical resort? Things are uprooted in our lives. A lack of certainty permeates our entire existence. But what, pray tell, is the exciting twist?! > [9, 9] *Everyone realizes they’re just characters in an erotic role-playing game.* Wait, what? This just took a serious left turn, and my brain is sort of jumping sideways. I was starting to move down one track with a pretty serious head of steam, and then suddenly this thing just swerved and now I'm all adrift. Let me think about this for a second. Luckily for us, this is the last thing that we need to generate randomly for the plot setup. … Okay, so here is our premise: The main character has just taken a job at a swanky island resort and, as such, has moved to the island to live for the next year. He doesn't know anyone, nor has he gone out and really hung out with people much. He is literally fresh off the boat. The whole point of the resort is that it is a vast, elaborate, live-action role-playing game where people come to romance one another and hook up. Sometimes even with the people they came with. One of the first people at the resort he meets is an old DC-8 who still cuts a commanding presence and who teaches kids karate out on the tarmac. Will the main character and Deke end up becoming friends? And possibly more? (Of course they will, that's what the Narrative wants.) Will the main character learn Deke's dark secret and will it come under circumstances which bring everything to a head? (More than likely, that's the sort of thing the Narrative is into.) All that and more! All you need to do is tune in to the next episode of… Oh wait, yes we probably should make the main character. ### Craft: Sex Toy (Painful) > [!note]- Editor's Note - On the Section Name > > For those who don't get the section heading, see: > > - https://forum.rpg.net/index.php?threads/ars-magica-best-worst-tribunal-books.735486/post-18251468 By comparison this is going to go like butter.^[Insert obligatory **9 1/2 Weeks** joke here.] We have four traits: **Passion**, **Conviction**, **Daring**, and **Investment**. The first three are exactly what you would think they are simply by reading the word. **Investment** is more of a slider, which represents your personal investment in the budding relationship you're currently nurturing or fighting against. Passion, Conviction, and Daring all start at 1, and we can put four points between them. Investment starts at 0 and can't be improved with points, but will go up and down through play for other reasons. | Passion | Conviction | Daring | Investment | | :-----: | :--------: | :----: | :--------: | | 2 | 3 | 2 | 0 | The main character, Gerald, is pretty average in most respects, but he has a real stubborn streak. Deke, thanks to being the love interest, has one stat: **Investment**. That also starts at zero. We're going to roll up a few additional character options on the pleasantly included tables and see what falls out before we finalize our concept of Gerald. **Alignment:** Hey, no need to make a fuss, right? **THICCness:** Thighs like what what **Intellect:** Like, OMG, you are like, soooooo smart **Swoleness:** Takes in all the groceries in one trip **Horniness:** Doesn't even know what horny is **Lifestyle:** Absolute fucking disaster goblin **Psionic Potential:** None^[Yes, this is real. The author is a bold visionary!] So how do we make this interpretation shake out? > Gerald is just this guy, you know? When he sets his mind to something, he can be quite bullheaded, but by and large, he just goes along to get along. Unfortunately, that's a terrible way to live your life. > > He comes across as a complete pushover because he is a complete pushover. His parents always told him that he was wasting his talents — and unlike most of you, for whom that's just talking you up to try and convince you to leave home, in his case it was absolutely true. > > He's brilliant. It doesn't take him much work to stay in some degree of reasonable shape, but he's so lost in his head and so concerned with what other people want him to be and think he should be that he's absolutely incapable of being something for himself. > > His life is a bit of a shambles because of it. This also might explain why he's got a bit of a thing forming up for a DC-8 — it's just the sort of thing someone with severe autism might do. > > In the meantime, Gerald is there to do the books for the resort and maybe, just maybe, start figuring out how to live and love. ## Exunt Well that's that. No, there's not a form-fillable character sheet. You don't really need one, I promise. Is this game gay? *Lord Jesus Christ, is this game gay!* Faggotry is practically falling out of every single orifice like an extra creamy load. In fairness, the entire genre of literature is pretty heavily gay and goes so far beyond gay that merely being attracted to someone of the same species and the same sex seems positively puritan, which I believe may be part of the point and the allure. It's almost impossible to be transgressive if what you're doing is being aggressively colored as normal by major corporations, media outlets, and politicians. Perversion, by nature, must not be mainstream. When it becomes mainstream, the pervert must move away from the middle of the stream and thus their behavior becomes *"more extreme"* by necessity. Fiction, and by extension games, are how we play safely with ideas that may be dangerous or unpleasant or extremely exciting and don't necessarily reflect the desires and intentions of the people who write them or the people who play them/consume them. ![[Dinosaur Erotica - Squid and Pirate.webp]] Am *I* gay? Absolutely not. I am so straight that they can calibrate rulers by laying them next to me (in a very sexual manner). But would I play this character who is clearly deeply sexually dysfunctional in what is transparently a gay coded relationship? *Absolutely.* This is a ton of fun. The mechanics are extremely straightforward, and the instruction to both players and the GM is funny, charming, and well-structured. In short, **[[Dinosaur Erotica]]** is a far better game than it ever had to be for the one-off ridiculous nature of the very concept. There's absolutely no reason that you couldn't pick this game up, strip out the dinosaurs and monsters, and run a perfectly reasonable, well-done game that mimicked [Red Spine Harlequin romances](https://www.ebay.com/itm/116439109362). If you are one of those strange people that don't know what kind of books women have been buying for two-thirds of a century, let me tell you that Red Spine Harlequin romances are just *porn for women*. They're the ones with bare-chested, long-haired pirates and Vikings "sweeping women off their feet and ravaging them" that women read while getting their hair done and fanning themselves ever so slightly. If you've ever considered whether or not you might like to run one of those stories for you and your friends, this is the game. Don't sit on it. And if you wanted a game that actually does a better job at representing the plots and setups of the Tingleverse better than **[The Tingleverse](https://www.amazon.com/The-Tingleverse-Official-Role-Playing-Game-4-book-series/dp/B08ZL63JTG)**, then this is *that game*, Buckaroos. Pick it up, put it in your collection, read it, play it, enjoy it. That's it for today. Tomorrow, we are going to space again. We spend a lot of time in space. [^1]: Amusingly enough he has his own RPG devoted to the world he's created called **[The Tingleverse](https://www.amazon.com/Tingleverse-Official-Chuck-Tingle-Role-Playing/dp/1689960671)** which is - something else, buckaroos. ![[The Tingleverse (cover).jpg|200]]